As online dating services grow in popularity and acceptance, the risks are, unfortunately, increasing as well. Sadly, online dating is a pretty convenient way for married men to shop around for a soulmate or something else. And considering a whopping 25-35% of men involved in online dating services are actually married, there’s a good chance you’ll come across a member of this group at some point in your online search for a soulmate.

Here are some of the red flags that should clue you into his offline marital status:

He has no online photo. If he doesn’t provide a picture to his online dating services for his profile, but he sends you a bunch of requests, you have to wonder –what is he trying to hide?


He won’t give you his home phone number. If he asks for your number, so that he can speak with you on the phone, try asking for his number instead, and see what his response is. Your future soulmate shouldn't be secretive. He might still want to be the one who makes the first call, but he shouldn’t have a problem exchanging numbers.


He never picks up when you call his cell. If you’re constantly leaving him messages, and it takes him awhile to get back to you each time, it’s probable that he’s with someone who would not approve of him signing up for online dating services… you know, like his wife!


He calls you or wants to meet at strange times. Does he ever call you from home? If he’s always calling you from work, that doesn’t necessarily make him a workaholic! Is your “soulmate” always “busy” on weekends? Married men often find an opportunity to be alone and want to see you immediately. Are his communications erratic… or maybe too regular?

Where he lives is a mystery. You’ve never been to his house. Obviously, when you’re first getting to know someone using online dating services, it’s normal not to want to share personal information like where you live. But after a little while, the question is bound to come up. If he’s always got an excuse why you should come over—his roommates are irritating or his house is a mess—your soulmate could be hiding more than dirty clothes!


He won’t talk about his past. If he only wants to hear about your life—your childhood, friends, and family—and always shrugs off or avoids your questions, he’s definitely hiding something from you. You may have already noted this from his profile on the online dating services.